


Right Now

by librariankiss



Series: But Epilogue [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Gen, PTSD, Post-Avengers (2012)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 08:02:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12502692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/librariankiss/pseuds/librariankiss
Summary: Loki struggles to be in Bruce's presence. Bruce tries to be understanding.





	Right Now

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the same universe as the rest of the “But Epilogue,” series, but every fic in the series can be read independently.

It was the way that his breath caught whenever Bruce entered the room. The way that he, almost imperceptibly, moved away when Bruce took a seat at the table. Loki always seemed to sit on the other side of Clint and Natasha, too He stood behind Steve, and maintained eye contact strictly with Tony in the lab like breaking it would be the end of him. And when Thor was around … when Thor was around it was like Loki was stuck to him.

Loki wasn’t doing well. That much was obvious. And it wasn’t like anyone was going to broach the subject, so all that hitching of breath and hiding behind other team members and refusing to make eye contact with Bruce just sat there. Loki wasn’t afraid of Bruce, sure. But he was remembering. So, eventually, Bruce wondered if he should try doing something himself.

Bruce wasn’t entirely sure what Loki was doing. He was scratching something into a table, transfixed. A nice table, too. Being one in a building with the Stark name hanging over it, it could be worth a damn lot more than Bruce had seen in his life.

Bruce caught sight of him—just—as he walked past the doorway, and snagged a footstep, almost tripping. It was after a moment’s consideration that he entered the room and took a seat across from Loki.

Loki froze.

“Hey,” said Bruce.

Loki cleared his throat, then continued to scratch at the table. It looked like he’d taken one of Tony’s screwdrivers.

Bruce swallowed. “Are you alright?”

“Fine.”

“Yeah,” said Bruce. “You know why I’m asking.”

Finally, Loki looked up. He dropped the screwdriver and it hit the table with a muted clatter. Cocking his head, he asked, “Do I?”

“Come on, Loki.” Bruce leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. Loki’s hands dropped below the table’s surface as he did it. “I know that you’re the one with the reputation for being, you know, perceptive. But I’m not an idiot.”

“I don’t recall saying that you are,” said Loki. “And I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You don’t have to right now,” Bruce assured him. He tried to keep his voice gentle, but it came out sounding more like he was more afraid than anything else. “But don’t you think you … should, at some point?”

Loki shrugged.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just…” Bruce sighed, eye contact faltering for a moment. He almost regretted the impulsive decision to come in here, to have this conversation, but he knew that it was the conversation to have. “I’m just not sure how long we can go on like this, and if the others have noticed it, then they’re not willing to say anything.”

“Yes.”

“And it’s not…” Bruce took a breath. It hurt his throat. “You know, Tony’s been having nightmares, and you know that for a while Clint couldn’t be around—”

“Yes.”

“You don’t have to force yourself to live like that.”

Slowly, Loki picked up the screwdriver again and tapped it against the table. “I can’t imagine what you want me to do about it.”

Bruce huffed. He looked to the wall, then back to Loki. He had firmly, deliberately dropped eye contact with Bruce, and was scratching at the wood, so focused that it was as if Bruce wasn’t there. And—Well, maybe Bruce was imagining it, but it seemed like Loki’s posture was stiffer than usual.

“I’m sorry, Loki.”

Loki looked at him, without raising his head. “Don’t do that.”

“Loki—”

“You shouldn’t have to—Not given that—And you…” He cleared his throat and slammed the end of the screwdriver into the table.

“Tony will—he’ll kill you for that,” Bruce muttered.

“More fool me.”

Bruce found himself chewing at the flesh on the inside of his mouth. The skin beneath his lips, which was now so scarred and bumpy that it drove him mad to run his tongue over it. None of the thoughts in his head were running in tandem. None of what he was thinking made any sense at all, really. But he did know that he didn’t like how tired Loki looked.

“Seriously, Loki, are you alright?”

“Yes.”

“Do you…” Bruce found himself grabbing the side of his chair. “Do you need me to leave?”

Again, Loki froze. He seemed to be looking somewhere into the middle distance. This time, when the screwdriver fell, it seemed to be because he had forgotten it was there. “Yes.”

Bruce nodded. He stood, slowly, and tapped the table twice. Loki looked at him with an expression that made no sense. Okay, maybe Bruce wasn’t so perceptive.

“Hey, listen,” said Bruce. He barely heard his own voice. “We’re here. Okay? We’re here. And, you know, if you need anything…” His teeth almost tore his bottom lip in half. “Ask Tony, I guess. He’s friendly.”

“Yes,” said Loki. Bruce probably imagined the smile. Clipped, he muttered, “Thank you, Bruce.”

“Yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for 50 Tumblr followers, everyone!
> 
> [Tumblr](http://librariankiss.tumblr.com) / [Twitter](https://twitter.com/librariankiss)


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